I stop in for an O/N rest and the next morning my car is gone.  I know it’s a P.O.S., but it has taken me so far.  Now without a means of transportation (walking being unreliable), I couldn’t even run away from this nonsense.  Well, okay; I parked in the handicap spot, and that’s probably the biggest No-No in any decent person’s handbook but I was seriously infirm with fatigue.  Had I spent some more time finding a more suitable spot, then maybe I wouldn’t be overwhelmed by temporary emotions.

Last 30 minutes:

-It was taken from me!  Those bastards.  Who took it?

-They’re holding it for $200 ransom?  I’ll kill them~!  I’ll mutilate their bodies and hang their decapitated heads on my rearview, like dice….

-How do I get over there to commit murder?

Several phone calls later and a bus schedule look up.

-Okay, I will be able to get it back before 5pm.  All is not lost.

-At least it wasn’t stolen.  That would’ve been worse.

-You lazy bastard.  You should’ve parked in a safer spot.  Bad things happen when you are not safe.

-Don’t feel safe because you got away with it before.

-Bugger, that’s a $200 lesson.

-Where am I headed to again? Right, nowhere…

That’s when I remembered that a car is something that I take with me, not a means to get me to my destination.  Unlike these legs of mine (which are only good at kicking myself) [walk damn you!]

Your roadtrip needs the right team.  It’s a measured calculation about who you invite onto a roadtrip, of whether you accept someone’s invitation.  You are going to be witness to someone’s character for more than your normal dosage.  Don’t go with somebody who is good in doses; a roadtrip is a drip feed.  Choose wisely the shared music preference, cigarette habit, depth of conversation, and conscientiousness.

This economy sucks.  I wish I was on the hiring side to see how green it is, but I’m under the impression that “green” is in short supply nearly everywhere.  In a way, choosing your roadtrip team is being on the other side.  It’s ironic that in a time when a lot of people are unemployed there aren’t as many hands ready for a roadtrip.  Money is tight, and a roadtrip isn’t necessarily cheap.  People are waiting to hear back from positions applied and are hesitant to leave their patience behind.  Or other obligations root them to their homes.

Whereas with the job market, there is a scarcity of jobs while there is a lot of applicants.  Before, companies had the resources to experiment with candidates, but not now.  Companies are impacted by the volume of resumes, taking the liberty to find someone perfect (aka “overqualified”), or just taking their time in general.  The interviewing team is looking for someone who will help bear their burdens.   Who will be good in a dose from 9 to 5?

Yet for everyone’s carefully laid plans, a team is a fluid object.  Groove to the same tunes, share cigarettes, keep certain conversations up, and observe the needs.  Gas keeps are car moving forward.  Keep your problems at home, and it won’t stall your thoughts.   Discuss the next leg; where are the milestones?  It feels good to complain about someone else’s bad habits, but you either deal with it or throw the butt out.  Just remember to groove to the same tune as often as you can.

The right team is mostly without strife; so that they can take a turn, whether it’s for the worst, better, a personal one, or just around a corner, with some measure of confidence.

Or keep a GPS handy.

I believe in magic.  And spammers know it.  When I put my [disposable] email address on a job board, I attracted spam bots like maggots to rotting flesh.  Allow me to show you some of their “tricks”.

prays on your weakness

GMails preview gave me a little more than I wanted to read.   As it suggested, I was supposed to quit looking at the subject line [if the name didn't warn me away].

The radio belongs to the driver.  He/she bequeaths it to passengers.  There’s certainly diplomacy, but also a dictatorship. Benevolent or otherwise, shotgun – hold the shotgun, backseaters – stay quiet, the driver and navigator are talking.  Take those duties seriously.  A clean ship is a happy ship and there’s many miles left to go… On a roadtrip, take the driver seriously.  Despite there being an owner of said vehicle, and the rules created by the owner, only as a driver may you break the rules.

As a passenger, we’re just sightseeing.  There’s no control over deer; hopefully none will jump from that hill into the street [with one giant leap].  There’s no bad news bears; just cruising to some music.  Sometimes a command is taken from on high, but for the most part you spend it gazing idly out the window [munching on some cheetos].  Things are just passing by and idle thoughts begin to enter:

Do we have time to stop and smell a few flowers?  Is nature is calling?  How embarrassing would it be to I answered now?  Can’t she just ever text?  I’ll just call back later.  Where are we?  When’s the next rest area?  That’s some pretty trees.  “Can we stop for a minute?  I want to smell some flowers… over behind these… *tromping around*stay back there.”

So much for idle thoughts…

Read More…

Your search begins from day one.  If you call more than a few people on your first day, you must be celebrating.  This news is hard to digest even by my lonesome.  The people I called were in an order of who I wanted to hear news of another job from.  Your search takes certain stages as the number of days post unemployment begin to enlarge.  Corresponding to your money cushion, your search bubble begins to take different shapes.

I was offered a job over the phone this morning.

Although, I have not signed any paperwork. Its the end of unemployment.

However, I don’t start until the end of July. So party time?

Money acts as a great mediator in a relationship.  I’m not at all saying that I was a prostitute; it just is another reason to break up. That’s what my lay off felt like.  A break up.

The reason wasn’t personal.  It was the lack of money.

Tears were shed and assurances that one shouldn’t lose hope.  I tried working out the rest of the day, but my nerves were shot because my mind couldn’t concentrate.  “What just happened?”  I asked myself.   One second we were together, another second we were apart.

And now, this lay off has seeped into my personal life.  Being unemployed gives you a great reason to stay at home and not do much.  Actually, it’s what you have to do when you don’t have money.

And person after person I seem to blow off.

“Can’t make our own business friend, bank loans cost money.”

“Can’t do that friend, concert tickets cost money.”

“Can’t eat my friend, cannibalism is against the law.”

Now all I am is terribly confused… because it has become personal.  Money starts taking a negative side.  A reflection of my ability.  Misery loves company and I wonder who else feels worthless?

Guess that means I must turn to my backup plan:  Hide out in school [my first line was prostitution, but I already used that word today].

I am not a networker. I go to career events and I hate the 15-30 minutes of networking before the class starts. I despise it. I sit there, reading the pamphlet and counting down the minutes until the workshop starts.

I have read all the advice. I know that networking works. It makes the difference in getting jobs. (If you doubt me, read this excellent article) But I still can’t bring myself to do it.

I like people. I love learning from people. I love discussing work and opinions with people. I just hate the process. I hate trying to introduce myself to a stranger. I hate starting that conversation.

And because I know I hate it and I know I SHOULD be doing it, I can’t.

For anyone who is shy, you know the feeling. You want to talk to someone but deep down inside you clam up. Your voice shuts down and while you are intelligent and thoughtful, you have nothing to say. Nothing at all.

And to be honest, I don’t think networking is fair. Networks are the privilege of who you know. If you grow up poor, with very little connections to people with advance education and advance careers, your lack of network is just another hurdle for your advancement towards life.

And if you ever wondered whats the point of affirmative action, I just told you; its a stepping stool for those who are out of the network.

Personally, as a person who works in the non profit field, I am anti networking. I didn’t hire people I knew. I hired people who took the time to apply for an advertised job and I fairly assessed that person’s skills based on their resume and interview. To me, that was my effort to slightly level the playing field when life already throws mountains at many of us.

Unfortunately, I could never convince this to my supervisor, who tended to only hire people she knew. And unfortunately, I have yet to convince the rest of the world of this method.

To write a good cover letter, I have to get in the mood. I have to convince myself that I can do this job, I would be GREAT at this job.

I take my cover letter draft, manipulate it to appeal to the job, draft draft draft, and send it away.

Damn that was a great cover letter! Damn I am a great writer! How could I not get that job?

Its my writing process. And then I never get a response.

In some warped emotional way, when I realize that I never got a response, its like a rebound of that super confidence into super sadness. If my super amazing, I am great cover letter can’t get me the job, I will never get a job.

And it goes back to the low esteem from my last post.

Unlike Freeside’s ridiculous rambling, I have been working hard applying for jobs.

Jobs I have sent cover letters and resumes: 45 (since I started keeping track)
Phone interviews: 5
Responded to written interview questions: 4
1st interviews: 10
2nd interviews: 2
3rd interviews: 1

Read More…

Pardon an overlong post.  I’m not a big fan of long posts myself.  Especially considering I have the attention span of a booby.  My days are long, I sit here and dream up ways to think in a more organized fashion so that when I hit an idea I can make it into a paycheck.  So far though I am spending money and going for broke.